Roseline Globe

Everyday Journal Input

Once Upon My Shame — June 13, 2016

Once Upon My Shame

“Praise the Lord,” he ended the sermon, I knew what was next, I was shivering from the cold that seeped through my skin pores as a result of the fear that was already fully built inside. I thought I could handle it. I couldn’t sleep all night, I knew this hour would come. Last week Friday was just like a dress rehearsal in front of the Directors and other people who helped build the momentum of movies, today, even this first day of the week, all shall be acted out in front of everyone. I shall be the only emotional being. Not anyone else, except anyone who cares to feel.

“I read from first book of Paul to the Corinthians, Chapter 6 from verse one through 20,” the young man sitting next to me put the verse down in his note as though it was the continuation of the sermon, he was wrong. That was the prelude to my own sermon. My palms were wet, I tried controlling myself from wiping my already teary eyes with my handkerchief.
In few minutes, the opinions of several people in this gathering would change towards me and it would take another 20 years, more or never before they could change.
“…You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” He closed the bible and wiped his face. It was going to be difficult for him too. He is very strong and will fight the fright of that law and pronounce the judgment anyway.
“I am very sorry, this is very difficult for me I don’t like doing this, I never prayed to do it at any point in time in my ministry but it is something that has been a norm for long and I for one single person cannot change it.” the whole church was silent, waiting for the next line of action. The silence was deafening and choking at the same time, I silently wished for someone to cause a kind of distraction or maybe, maybe I should die at that spot and avoid the next scene! Why? Why must I go through this? I didn’t see this happening five years ago, not even last year until the devil placed the right person in my path…until now.
” May Sister Jolene Oladele step out?” he rubbed his face and actually , there was no need for the suffix Sister! I dragged myself and put on a very beautiful and bold face as I stepped outside. I stood in front of the congregation and made eye contact with the wall clock for the last time…before bending my face towards the floor. I looked down all through. I won’t need to look up anyway.
“Sister Jolene here is hereby excommunicated from the spiritual activities in this congregation from henceforth. Most of you mSlutight have heard and for some of you who haven’t, She was caught in the act of sexual immorality and it was a serious one, it is the law of this church to excommunicate such a member.” He directed me to stand directly facing the congregation, what a humiliation! The ground had refused to save me. Death had denied me a single hearty request. Life had handed me an embarrassing choice. Here is the music, I knew the tune and had to dance. My feet started giving way, I felt light and I woke up outside the church with very few people standing close, it was as if I had leprosy. The stigma had started, the hardest part of a very long journey.
The next two Sundays were difficult and I felt more than an outcast. I was forced to look down on myself and I, I took the only choice I c
ould find. I stopped serving the god who refused to stop the one who brought shame my way; who refused to make my judgment more subtle. I walked out on religion and ended up at this nite club and shared the pathetic story that charted my way to this place with anyone who looked well enough to ask.


5 Poverty Bullets Ready to Kill You — June 9, 2016

5 Poverty Bullets Ready to Kill You


Most times, we do some things and just cook up excuses for them when we realised they have taken our time. And Time is LIFE, can I get an Amen? When these things take our time, they also take away money from our pockets with our full approval and without our full knowledge. Wait there, don’t even try to turn away, you are a victim or errrrm, maybe you know someone who might be a victim, either way, YOU NEED THIS.

  • Number One: social media
  • The easiest money stealer is social media. You hang out online, wait, how many friends do you have again? #countingMyhairStrands 5 to the thousand! Man! That is a lot of friends! And, #rollingMyEyes, you might not even have up to 10 friends out of the cyber space. You chat, update;  chat and update. That is totally cool but it consumes your data and since you can devote so much time for it, it is taking more than just your data.
  • Way Out? You can become a social marketer, market other people’s products to your friends and get paid doing that.
  • You can also be an events social media reporter, that is why you keep friends on the  cyber space, for pete’s sake.


  • Number Two:MoviesMovies! Some people can watch movies for Africa! They will stay glued to the screen and even serve themselves popcorn! Cool! That is super cool! It is very easy, you have just seen Part 1, you are definitely going to see what happens next by seeing Part 2 and some movies Producers can be so wicked by making sure the movie gets 4 Parts. Ehya, they are in the business of making money, should we blame them?
  • Way Out? Seeing movies is not a SIN, seeing lot of movies and doing nothing about them is the greatEST of all SINS. Instead of seeing and reporting to your friends and everyone else who cares to listen for that matter, and you are so good at that gannnn, why don’t you start a page on Facebook, where you can write summaries and reviews of the movies, Mark pays owners of pages with higher likes and visits. If you can afford a laptop, please, start a blog already. Stop reporting for free, TIME NA MONEY!


  • Number Three:gossipGossiping! Talky-Talky! Na only you waka come? You know everything going on in your neighourhood! Every tenant in your house has one secret of theirs in your palms. First hand reports of streets’ events can be gotten from you, Tolu, your classmate has gotten pregnant again, you are not sure if she’ll be keeping it this time or would be going to the toilet as usual.
  • Way Out? Repotu! REPORTu! Report every every on a blog, write a book, start a column in a newspaper. Use wisdom and digression by not using their real names sometimes, but how did Linda Ikeji become so popular? When next Anike comes for the hottest and latest update, direct her to your blog, ce-fini! Otan!


  • Number Four:SleepingSleeping! Waitey! Wait! How many hours do you sleep per day? I am not even talking about those time you slept off while seeing a movie, I am talking about the hours you dedicate to sleeping at night. En En, now you see? Who your sleep epp? Tell me now, are you now fresher than Monalisa or chubbier than Lepacious Bose?
  • Way Out? Iyav not finish for you. Get an alarm clock. Get an alarm friend too, someone who does not sleep like you ni o. Set goals for each day, if you have been setting some nice goals you wont have the luxury of the day time given out to sleep just like that. Of course, you can sleep for 7Hours in the night, if you are a very great strategist, then, it is possible for you to achieve all your goals within 15Hours. The remaining two? se you wont bath, take care of your room (Maybe), cook (Maybe) or eat?


  • Number Five: romance
  • Arru Oh Erm Hey Cee He (ROMANCE) Yes! Roll your eyes from Jamaica to Jerusalem, that is the truth. UNnecessary romance steals away your life, Wait na, what are you doing spending your money and time on that girl when you cannot even successfully feed yourself with what you want three times per day? You cannot fully cater for your own needs without having a hitch, yet, you allow her to tie down your destiny with daily recharge cards requests, Meat Pie, and other simple simple outings that are stopping you from thinking for the present talk-less of tomorrow.
  • If you do not have enough money to start a family right now, then, just focus on your life until you can get it right.


I wish you the best in life! YOU CANNOT DIE without making IT LIFE.



DONE! — June 7, 2016


“You’ve seen me in my worst and my best and you’ve appreciated me just the way I am; I love you for not putting up with my bad habits,Done

for helping me grow out of are the one I love, I can’t settle for anyone less.”
Akpan looked on, he was staring in her dilated pupils, which showed how excited she was. He was just staring, he heard everything she said but he was lost in his own thoughts. He understood her, even beyond her expressions. They’ve been together for two years now. She made him visit hell and heaven, the deepest and darkest places, just to get her real self restored. He had loved her that much. He loved her. All she just said were bits of the summary of a whole project he committed his whole life into. She once turned him away. She once hated him and his bluntness, until recently, when she started loving him back…when it was too late.

Chindinma came along – the combination of beauty, brain, and character. He did not have any work to do at all, she loved him too. Last night, just last night, under the mangrove tree, they sealed that love with a butterfly kiss. His belly was filled with magical creatures that sent sweet sensations all over his entire body. He wanted more…that was the love he craved.
It was beyond the kiss, it was the love and how it made him feel. His heart was detached from Anita already, and now, she was professing her love, when he only came to wave her bye.

His job was done. Restoration of ANITA

Colours Initiatives Launches #5Days5Schools Project — June 4, 2016

Colours Initiatives Launches #5Days5Schools Project

Overall, there was an estimated 1.3 million adolescent deaths in 2012, most of them from causes that could have been prevented or treated.
Estimates suggest that numbers of HIV deaths are rising in the adolescent age group. This increase occurred predominantly in the African Region, at a time when HIV-related deaths were decreasing in all other population groups.

In response to this, Colours Initiatives carried out a week long educational project, which was designed to educate secondary schools with key population on HIV/AIDS, Comprehensive Sexuality Education, and Sexual Reproductive Health and Rights. ‪#‎SRHR‬. The project titled ‪#‎5Days5Schools‬ reached over 450 adolescents from various secondary schools in the State’s Capital, Akure.

The journey started at Aquinas Boys College and moved to Ondo State School for the Hearing Impaired and ended at Shagari Estate High School. The students were elated after the programme, as they were enlightened by the information they did not have before.
Young people were also mobilized towards accessing the youth friendly services available at the State’s Adolescent and Youth Friendly Centre that is situated at the State’s Specialist Hospital, Akure.

Ending new transmission of ‪#‎HIV‬ is a joint assignment, the fact that one person is infected has affected everyone of us.

Special Appreciation to TWO Foundation, High Flyers Initiative, Courageous Volunteers and Gbenga Adene and Associates for making this project a huge success.




It is now official, the MDGs(Millennium Development Goals) expired already and we now have what is called the SDGs (Sustainable Development Goals). The goals were signed to be implemented by Heads of Member States of the United Nations towards the end of 2015. Nigeria, as a member state of the United Nations was ably represented by the President of the Federation, His Excellency General Mohammad Buhari, who after going through the goals assented their implementation in Nigeria with his special interest in HIV/AIDS. The government of Nigeria agreed to kick start the implementation of the goals earlier this year (2016) not wanting history to repeat itself as regards the MDGs, which were implemented in 2005 against the agreed upon year by Member states in 2000. Five long years of delay really tell on the success in achieving the goals here in Nigeria, Hence, the quicker response in the process of implementation of the SDGs.

Unlike the MDGs, which were primarily drafted and agreed upon by older people, the process of drafting and implementation of the SDGs involved the youths from all over the world at all the stages both nationally and internationally. One of the steps taken in bridging the gaps between the old and young in the process of drafting and implementation of the goals was the establishment of a body called the ACT!2015, which is a social mobilization initiative that came into existence from the collaboration between PACT and UNAIDS to support the youths movement working on SRHR (Sexual Reproductive Health and Rights) and HIV (Human Immuno Deficiency Virus) at the global level, regional and national levels.

The ACT!2015 has completed three different phases of rigorous advocacy activities. This includes the ACT!2015 Nigeria, also known as the National Alliance, which consists of about 56 Nigerian youths and adolescents. they came up with a goal, which was: “Youth Friendly services that cater for the sexual reproductive health and rights of young people including access to comprehensive sexuality education and post abortion care for unsafe abortion victims.” Lots of advocacy exercises had been carried out by these young people and they have managed to successfully achieve this goal to a reasonable extent in the country. Establishment of Youth Friendly Services Centres and improvement in the services of existing centres are some of the outputs of their advocacy efforts.

The ACT!2015 is now in its 4th Phase, which deals with the SDGs implementation. The fourth phase kicked off in Nigeria at Abuja, the country’s capital with about 24 young people from the six geo political zones in the country. Goals 3 (Good Health and Wellbeing) 4,(Quality Education for all) 5 (Achieve Gender Equality), 16 (End inequality), 17(Global partnership) are the most vital for this phase. Goal 17 is included because it deals with global partnership.

The sole objective of the fourth phase of the ACT!2015 is to develop an effective accountable and transparent interventions at all levels through quantitative and qualitative data gotten by youth partners of the National Alliance.

The National Alliance were trained on monitoring and accountability, evaluation types of data and how to source for them in order to help them carry out the slated activities more effectively.

The 4-Day workshop was more than an enlightening programme, it was also an empowerment programme as participants were able to learn more about Monitoring and Evaluation, a germane aspect of social and community development work. The four identified sustainable development goals, which are very important for the all-round development of young people are expected to be worked on with the full participation of other young people who were not present at the workshop and policy makers who can help push for the achievement of the goals.


CAGED – LOVE UNLOCKED5 — April 30, 2016


Doctor Charles was not feeling like a professional. He allowed his emotion to take a little bit of his time. “I’m sorry, but I didn’t mean for that, I’m only trying to help you here…everything has a history and that’s why I’m here, in case you want to share,” he paused to get a response from her. She bit her lower lip and put on the look of a young child who just lost a dear one she might never sEe anymore.
“I…I used to think ‘that’was the best definition of my life,” she sniffed as she started. “I did everything in my closet, behind closed doors, I get this kind of unexplainable excitement after injecting myself, sniffing, smoking or masturbating,” she choked on a tear as she closed her eyes as though to block painful memories from her sight. “I used to blame my father…I mean, he’s to blame,” she added with a pronounced hatred as she set her teeth on edge. “He is a Pedophile and I was the object of his experiment for a very long time, even when I could stop it, I didn’t, I…I just accepted it as the undetachable part of life.” Her lips quivered as she spoke, her eyes clouded with tears of regret. She quickly wiped a drop off of her face. “I started hating him when I clocked 20, after aborting for him two consecutive times,” she expressed using her right index and middle fingers. “I had to take to addictions so that I won’t just end of killing him one day. And so here I am, I was coming back from our family’s get together when I had this accident.” She shifted a little and winced from the pain that accompanied it.

Dr Charles’ calm face suddenly looked curious or maybe vengeful as the hardness that spread across made the face go in deep furrows. He quickly changed his countenance at Sola’s notice in the sudden change. He looked at her with empathy and rubbed the back of her left palm, which he was holding in his. “I can only imagine, no one can feel your pains exactly the way you do, no one,” he looked from her palm to her face. The lady is beautiful still, he surmised.”I noticed you were making your statements in the past tense…any change in belief?” He smiled lightly. She smiled in return and looked away from his face, she is coy, Charles evaluated. “I don’t know but I think this accident is changing me, I’m not certain I need the change,” “when it comes to habits, you need it dear.” Lord! Did he just call me dear? Oooh, he must be feeling things too. Sola thought and gasped in her mind. “Your liver has a scar already, you’ll have to be on a particular drug and also engage in a therapy to bring it to correction.” “Cirrhosis?” She asked in disbelief. “Exactly,” the Doctor asserted. He looked in her eyes for a few seconds, having being satisfied that she got the last discussion in well.
“I want to put off my job’s hat now, I want to share something with you,” lobatan! She thought, anxious to know what the Doctor was about to say or do.

“I used to live abroad…in Scotland, I finished from Oxford with good grades and I was a hot cake in spite of my colour and background. I practiced medicine and surgery for 12 years after my graduation.” What? Sola screamed in her mind. She felt the Doctor was younger than she was but now it looked like she was wrong about that assumption. “I got married to my high-school sweetheart, Juliet,” he looked up from Sola to quickly hid a tear. “Juliet was a lovely woman, she was lively and hated trouble in every of its outfits. I was lucky to have heard her in my life, everyone could see it that we were great together. We had our curves and edges but her great wisdom always smoothered things out.” He was really heartbroken and Sola really felt for him. She was imagining that kind of woman, Juliet. Wait, was it a co-incidence that her middlename was Juliet? She begged him to continue with the look in her eyes.
“We had a lovely boy, Adams, he had the eyes and heart of his mother, I couldn’t ask for any other thing more perfect, we were great!”. A smile raised the corners of his lips. They must have given him the best of memories. “Then the time for my building came, the storm that I can never compare to any, others have faced worse but my personal experience remained the most valid to me. On a single day, I lost my wife and 9 year old son,” Sola let out a sharp gasp and covereCaged 5d her mouth afterwards. “That was the most choking and shocking news headline that was never written nor printed…I started questioning my faith and belief in God, I screamed loathing words at him in the corners of my room at night. I cursed everything around me. No one else mattered to me, not even my own life. I wished to die to join my better half or so I believed…I was that way for another 34 months, I am grateful for the brethren who didn’t bother themselves with my resolve to stop serving God. They stayed and share my bitter moments with me.”
“There comes a time, in every unbeliever’s life when they have to acknowledge the fact that God exists, it now depends on one thing – ego. Some overlook their egos and take the right decision, others are too afraid of losing their faces among friends and families, they don’t want to eat the humble pie but at the end the realization of the truth will be killing if it is not accepted as at when due.” Sola swallowed hard and stole a glance at the Doctor. He got her, no one could have gotten her this way. She never thought about it. Aside her feelings for the man whose face refused to speak his age aloud, there was a way he tapped into her mind, how he got connected with her that was indescribable for her. If there is a God, this man is definitely one.
“I made up my mind and came to Nigeria, I have met so many people benefited from them immensely and they from me. Something that might not have happened had I not left the UK…God makes things happen for a purpose. He might have allowed your Dad to exploit

you so you can become a strong woman who can impact other young people who might ever find themselves in that position. Help out those trapped in their addictions too, might just be one person but do you know how valuable a soul is?”
He pursed his lips and man! I’m in love! In love?
Click here to Reply or Forward
0.35 GB (2%) of 15 GB used
Last account activity: 51 minutes ago




Two days had quickly slipped by without a single
sight of the kind Doctor’s face, even if it were just for
a second. I am so anxious right now, maybe I should
ask one of these Nurses, oh, just when I need her,
“Nurse, erm…I
Caged 4

think I need to see the Doctor, can
you get h
im for me?” She smiled, a knowing smile
though. ‘What
? Can she figure I don’t need the Doctor
as much as I even requested? Well, it’s not her
business. “His hands are full now, he will come see
you very soon, but if it is something I can pass across
to him, tell me,
I’ll gladly do that,” “no, only he
can…only he can do it,” “it’s alright then, I’ll tell him
just that.” She moved closer to change the bandage
on her head. S
he was told the windshield was
penetrated and the debris cut through the skin on
her head. She saw
the mammogram herself and
decided she was really a miracle. The wound on her
forehead was so wide and deep that the blood she
was told she lost in the fifteen minutes she was still
in the car was enough to have drained life out of her.
She grabbed her phone from her side desk and
turned it on for
the very first time since her accident.
She expected to see messages from her drug
dealers, from her boss at the office and from her
apartment. She definitely got all, her boss was dead
worried and
explained how she had combed every
part of the country looking for her, her parents too
were worried, s
he added. She would not have done
that if Sola was one of ‘those girls’ but she had never
done that before. You should see me face when I saw
the innumerable messages left by my mum. She had
been sick and she left her matrimonial home that
Sunday after her younger brother backed up her
story. She was so sorry that she would give
everything to have Sola’s life back for her. Too late
mummy! She tex
ted her boss as regards her current
condition and she replied her back within seconds to
be in the hospital shortly. She didn’t know what else
to do so she j
ust left the phone on and slept.
Doctor Charles just exited the adjoining small room
to his office,
sweating and singing when Nurse Adesunloye
entered. She knew it, he had just finished praying. He
had been doing that since the first day he became the
chief medicl direct
or of the hospital. “Good afternoon
Doctor, the patient…” “In ward 10 wants to see me,”
he arranged the scattered booklets on his table and
looked up at the Nurse, “I know, I will see her soon,”
“that was what I told her,” “good, thanks, hope there
is no problem?” “No Doctor, the results of those tests
and x-rays you told us to carry out are out.” She
presented a big brown file to the Doctor and waited
for next instruc
tions. “Oh, thank you Nurse, you are
all wonderful, uh, I’ll g
o through it now,” “alright
Doc,” she stood up and left.
“I heard, your boss came here the other day to check
on you,” Sola answered with a gentle nod. “You must
be a nice person, and hardworking too.” She smiled
feebly in returned. If only he knew how much I’d
wanted to see his face, for one good week, he
deprived me of that. The door was locked from
behind and she w
as sure the Doctor had come to
share with her what other ears must not here – they
would have heard it before. He sat in the rocking
chair by her left and helped her sit up a little before
that. He was facing
her and his eyes, his eyes were
beautiful, like an angel. This guy must be an angel.
Sola didn’t know what happened during the accident
but she felt she must have encountered an angel.
“We carried out some tests on you the day you were
brought in but I am sure you were already conscious
when the X-Rays were taken.” She nodded with a little
bit of coyness when her eyes met those of the
Doctors. “Good, I’ll ask you some questions now and
I’ll be glad if you will be honest with me,” gen-gen,
the popular nollywood sound effect for suspense
went off in Sola’s head. “Do you smoke?” Blood
drained off Sola’s f
ace, she had been so proud of her
habits, she would even gladly confirm them had her
parents questioned her, even the Pastors. But now,
she felt so ashamed, she detested herself right now.
wished the ground would open and swallow her up.
Rather than answer, she only burst into tears.



I didn’t believe that my mum still wouldn’t believe me. I was young then, but now I’m all grown, well, they said I’ve lost my mind. She chuckled when she remembered her mother’s suggestion of going to the church for laying of hands. They are foolish people being deceived by silly monkeys who want to enrich their own pockets. Those ministers would feel something when my parents die, it’d been their money and support all along. They’ve been spending the devil’s money and they never deemed it fit to bring him to his senses? Didn’t they know everything? Well, they were just in a business and they must make profits, to me the man they claimed sent them didn’t exist. That was her last thought, a speedy tomatoes loaded vehicle hit her as she got to the T-Junction where she ought to have turned left and headed home. She never got home. Pedestrians and hawkers around shouted and acted the depth of their feelings by placing their hands on their heads. “Yeepa!” One man shouted, “Ikunle abiyamo,” another woman exclaimed. Some street boys went after the big vehicle on bikes while others tried getting Sola out of her car, it took them longer than normal as the door was locked from inside, they had to use axes and cutlass in separating that part of the vehicle from the others. “Ah! O ti ku o,” (She’s dead) the man who felt her neck for pulse announced. A young onlooker matched in just three long strides to where her still body was layed, he got down on his knees and tried mustering pressure on her chest, he also did the oral respiration in trying to revive her. As he was doing all that, he was muttering words of prayers and his lips quivered as though he had cold. He continued for more than ten minutes, other onlookers took him for a jobless medical school aspirant and rather tried calling anyone from her phone but the phone was locked and there seemed to be no number registered to her emergency line. The young man was still administering pressure on her chest when her chest voluntarily went up in a hard breath and was released shortly afterwards. The young man solicited for the help of others as Sola was rushed to the nearest hospital in her near unconscious state.

She gained her full consciousness after two days of injection of water drips and blood. She woke up to the face of the young doctor who reCaged 3scued her. “Where am I? What am I doing here?,” she weakly demanded. “Thank God you are back to life, you are a miracle,” she looked startled as she realised she was in a hospital with her head bandaged. “What happened?” “You had an accident, the drunk driver with a faulty vehicle that hit you are in the police station as we speak.” “Accident?” She asked in disbelief. “Surely God is great, he must love you so much…you were dead but he brought you back to life,” she stared at the pleasant Doctor with mixed feelings. “I don’t believe in God,” the Doctor hid his shock by smiling at her. “I understand you, maybe you’ll share the story with me someday, we all have reasons not to have that belief but there comes a time that we have to reckon with the fact that God exists and make every other doubt go away…I have to leave you to rest now, I’ll come back and share some things with you, meanwhile, nurses assigned to you shall be coming to check on you from time to time.” He smiled, ‘that smile of an angel, did I just say that? Angel?” So, she drifted off.

Sola did not understand while she did not smile back at the caring Nurses, Nurse Adesunloye was even an exceptional Nurse, Sola was unable to find any fault in her. She brought her food never one minute late, she ran errands and never wore a frown. Sola thought the hospital was not in Nigeria, one, the Nurses were too young and two, their attitude towards her was out of this world. She concluded at the place being a private hospital. Nevertheless, they did not interest her as much as that young Doctor, she had been looking forward to seeing him again since the last time. She felt she was being punished by him not coming around. She had scolded herself to let it be and forget about the Doctor who was young enough to be her younger brother, “wait, am I thinking of dating him? Sola you must be mad.”



The compound was crowded, big cars and big people, more reason why everyone believes that my parents are blessed. I packed my Lexus beside our last born’s 4×4 Toyota. I entered the house with my heightened mischievous self and rubbed the make-up of pride in my head. The dinning table speaks festivity. Splendid! My mum looked my way with a smile that didn’t last for more than two seconds, she was disappointed, she thought a man would enter the room after me. None did.
Caged 2

We all ate in silence, and towards the end, the icy ice was broken. “Sola, you said you were going to come with your Fiance, what happened? Something came up?” “I said I was going to show you my husband, I never said I would bring him,” my mum waved her fork in the air, “it’s a social media world, you think it’s right to meet your husband on skype?” If she was trying to crack a joke, it worked, everyone at the table laughed. I wiped my mouth with the table napkin and walked to the handwash basin to wash my hands. After making use of the available handkerchief, I strode to the table and hugged my dad from the back. I could feel the shivers that ran down his spine, his heartbeats also increased, for all these years, he still hasn’t fallen out of love with his only daughter. “This is my husband,” I shocked everyone as they were startled by my declaration. “Daddy has been in love with me since I was four years old, he makes love to me anytime he wishes and we could have had 2 children by now but one Doctor Philips terminated their lives before they opened their eyes to see the light of this world.” “You must be out of your mind!” My mum blurted in defense of her husband. “Oh, I want him to deny all these things, and you are defending him? You were never here, and when I tried to tell you, you were not listening. You are responsible for what I am now, because, ever since Dad, I have been unable to love any other man…I hate them!” My mum’s eye travelled from my face and stopped on my dad’s. “She’s nuts, how could I have done all that? You know me better darling,” he answered the mental question and gave me a scowl. “Just what I thought! Sola, you are a disgrace! You are possessed and you need the power of Christ to renew you!” “Don’t even start, did I tell you this yesterday? Never will I tell you tomorrow, dad is a pedophile and he would have done all he did to me to other younger girls, young enough to be my children!” I shouted and stormed out of the room. “This girl does not know anything! I can disown Sola right now! This is a big disgrace to this family.” “Actually, she’s right,” the ever silent Silas, Sola’s younger brother answered, “I told you when we were younger but just like she said, you never listened, I saw Dad do some things to Sister Sola when she was 15, they didn’t know I did, but I told you anyway.”
Their mother rather than angry looked sorrowful and cast their father a killing look. “Can you deny that again?” “The children were right, you were never here.” He answered without a single glint of remorse.



You see? Everyone sees me as a happy girl, lovely, and beautiful to behold, never withholding a charming smile from anyone who crosses her path. The best time to appreciate her beauty is when she is amidst her family in the public, she blows them kisses and laughs ear to ear at every joke, to everyone around her, she was born for nothing but love. What is love? Nonsense! It doesn’t exist. Give a man money consistently and you will love but stop giving him and you will have no love. Everybody loves for a reason, that is what I have seen in my lifetime so far.

I am not a happy girl, neither am I graceful, loving? Far from it, but to crown a perfect actress of 25 years, that’ll be me, Oscar, AMA, Golden globe, name them all. My life has been nothing but a scripted story written by me and influenced by the people around me.


I have addictions, that is what you will call them, but they are my perfect definition of living, they keep me grounded and help me not to lose my cool. I think straight when I’m in sky 13 after the third round of 10mm wrapped weed. Cocaine is no big deal to me, not taking it is killing somebody and that’ll be nothing but a federal case – Homicide! That’s what they termed it. I smoke, inject drugs and masturbate like crazy. If I don’t do any of them in a day, I’ll end up behind bars, so don’t judge me.

My father is the chief reason I am like this, he started by inserting his middle finger in my vagina when I was four, he was the loving husband who will help his wife around the house, especially with early morning and evening care for the babies. The habit continued and it became something I could not do without, somehow, I don’t know how, but I felt that what he was doing was wrong. He did it where no one else was. Just the two of us. He progressed from fingering to having real sex with me, I lost my mind in the process, innocence left me at such a tender age so I’m not even sure if I haven’t lost myself. He continued till I clocked 16, even after we had been taught about sex, menstruation, ovulation and gestation. I got pregnant and he aborted for me. Two different times. My mum was not aware but she was guilty, she is guilty. I told her whenever she bathed me back then to ‘check me’ like my father always did, she only beat my hands off my vulva while she rushed through with washing the outer part of my life. Career woman! What a huge price to pay for it!

I do not believe in the existence of God, I go to church but if the person being described by our Pastors right from my childhood days really exists, then they are disillusioned. To me, he doesn’t. How can a kind and merciful father be up there and watch my father do all those ignominious things to me? I was a poor child. How can you say he exists while earthquakes rock the earth and swallow many innocent beings leaving many innocent children orphans and wanderers on the surface of earth. How can you say he exists while those Chibok girls were captured and have not been released ever since then, their parents languish in psychological turmoil every single day! For all I can see, the powerful wins, shikena. Life is a game of chances which has no rules but left up to probabilities. The guilty lives in peace while the innocent stays behind bars and awaits death. The rich kills to get himself established while the kind lives in penury. The dishonests rule this world. There are no divine beings! Don’t be tormented, there are no ghosts, no gods, no supernatural beings, just death and devil. I have seen the two before, the latter I have related with, I kiss him daily. I have seen the devil and he is my father!

I have big hatred for men, I don’t want to be touched by girls, I have a perfect dildo to take care of my hunger and thirst for sex. My father is still out there, not yet convicted, he smiles at everyone and they praise him as a good man. You see why I said there is no god? Even the pastors praise him and urge others to be like him – blinded monkeys!

They are worried about me, they want me to bring a man home. A family meeting today, they feel I’m satisfied, the next thing is a Man. So, I’m going for that meeting and I am going to show them my husband, the most intimate man I know – my father. I won’t live in this darkness no more, it is time for everyone to hear my story.