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CAGED – LOVE UNLOCKED5 — April 30, 2016

CAGED – LOVE UNLOCKED5

Doctor Charles was not feeling like a professional. He allowed his emotion to take a little bit of his time. “I’m sorry, but I didn’t mean for that, I’m only trying to help you here…everything has a history and that’s why I’m here, in case you want to share,” he paused to get a response from her. She bit her lower lip and put on the look of a young child who just lost a dear one she might never sEe anymore.
“I…I used to think ‘that’was the best definition of my life,” she sniffed as she started. “I did everything in my closet, behind closed doors, I get this kind of unexplainable excitement after injecting myself, sniffing, smoking or masturbating,” she choked on a tear as she closed her eyes as though to block painful memories from her sight. “I used to blame my father…I mean, he’s to blame,” she added with a pronounced hatred as she set her teeth on edge. “He is a Pedophile and I was the object of his experiment for a very long time, even when I could stop it, I didn’t, I…I just accepted it as the undetachable part of life.” Her lips quivered as she spoke, her eyes clouded with tears of regret. She quickly wiped a drop off of her face. “I started hating him when I clocked 20, after aborting for him two consecutive times,” she expressed using her right index and middle fingers. “I had to take to addictions so that I won’t just end of killing him one day. And so here I am, I was coming back from our family’s get together when I had this accident.” She shifted a little and winced from the pain that accompanied it.

Dr Charles’ calm face suddenly looked curious or maybe vengeful as the hardness that spread across made the face go in deep furrows. He quickly changed his countenance at Sola’s notice in the sudden change. He looked at her with empathy and rubbed the back of her left palm, which he was holding in his. “I can only imagine, no one can feel your pains exactly the way you do, no one,” he looked from her palm to her face. The lady is beautiful still, he surmised.”I noticed you were making your statements in the past tense…any change in belief?” He smiled lightly. She smiled in return and looked away from his face, she is coy, Charles evaluated. “I don’t know but I think this accident is changing me, I’m not certain I need the change,” “when it comes to habits, you need it dear.” Lord! Did he just call me dear? Oooh, he must be feeling things too. Sola thought and gasped in her mind. “Your liver has a scar already, you’ll have to be on a particular drug and also engage in a therapy to bring it to correction.” “Cirrhosis?” She asked in disbelief. “Exactly,” the Doctor asserted. He looked in her eyes for a few seconds, having being satisfied that she got the last discussion in well.
“I want to put off my job’s hat now, I want to share something with you,” lobatan! She thought, anxious to know what the Doctor was about to say or do.

“I used to live abroad…in Scotland, I finished from Oxford with good grades and I was a hot cake in spite of my colour and background. I practiced medicine and surgery for 12 years after my graduation.” What? Sola screamed in her mind. She felt the Doctor was younger than she was but now it looked like she was wrong about that assumption. “I got married to my high-school sweetheart, Juliet,” he looked up from Sola to quickly hid a tear. “Juliet was a lovely woman, she was lively and hated trouble in every of its outfits. I was lucky to have heard her in my life, everyone could see it that we were great together. We had our curves and edges but her great wisdom always smoothered things out.” He was really heartbroken and Sola really felt for him. She was imagining that kind of woman, Juliet. Wait, was it a co-incidence that her middlename was Juliet? She begged him to continue with the look in her eyes.
“We had a lovely boy, Adams, he had the eyes and heart of his mother, I couldn’t ask for any other thing more perfect, we were great!”. A smile raised the corners of his lips. They must have given him the best of memories. “Then the time for my building came, the storm that I can never compare to any, others have faced worse but my personal experience remained the most valid to me. On a single day, I lost my wife and 9 year old son,” Sola let out a sharp gasp and covereCaged 5d her mouth afterwards. “That was the most choking and shocking news headline that was never written nor printed…I started questioning my faith and belief in God, I screamed loathing words at him in the corners of my room at night. I cursed everything around me. No one else mattered to me, not even my own life. I wished to die to join my better half or so I believed…I was that way for another 34 months, I am grateful for the brethren who didn’t bother themselves with my resolve to stop serving God. They stayed and share my bitter moments with me.”
“There comes a time, in every unbeliever’s life when they have to acknowledge the fact that God exists, it now depends on one thing – ego. Some overlook their egos and take the right decision, others are too afraid of losing their faces among friends and families, they don’t want to eat the humble pie but at the end the realization of the truth will be killing if it is not accepted as at when due.” Sola swallowed hard and stole a glance at the Doctor. He got her, no one could have gotten her this way. She never thought about it. Aside her feelings for the man whose face refused to speak his age aloud, there was a way he tapped into her mind, how he got connected with her that was indescribable for her. If there is a God, this man is definitely one.
“I made up my mind and came to Nigeria, I have met so many people benefited from them immensely and they from me. Something that might not have happened had I not left the UK…God makes things happen for a purpose. He might have allowed your Dad to exploit

you so you can become a strong woman who can impact other young people who might ever find themselves in that position. Help out those trapped in their addictions too, might just be one person but do you know how valuable a soul is?”
He pursed his lips and man! I’m in love! In love?
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CAGED – LOVE UNLOCKED4 —

CAGED – LOVE UNLOCKED4

Two days had quickly slipped by without a single
sight of the kind Doctor’s face, even if it were just for
a second. I am so anxious right now, maybe I should
ask one of these Nurses, oh, just when I need her,
“Nurse, erm…I
Caged 4

think I need to see the Doctor, can
you get h
im for me?” She smiled, a knowing smile
though. ‘What
? Can she figure I don’t need the Doctor
as much as I even requested? Well, it’s not her
business. “His hands are full now, he will come see
you very soon, but if it is something I can pass across
to him, tell me,
I’ll gladly do that,” “no, only he
can…only he can do it,” “it’s alright then, I’ll tell him
just that.” She moved closer to change the bandage
on her head. S
he was told the windshield was
penetrated and the debris cut through the skin on
her head. She saw
the mammogram herself and
decided she was really a miracle. The wound on her
forehead was so wide and deep that the blood she
was told she lost in the fifteen minutes she was still
in the car was enough to have drained life out of her.
She grabbed her phone from her side desk and
turned it on for
the very first time since her accident.
She expected to see messages from her drug
dealers, from her boss at the office and from her
apartment. She definitely got all, her boss was dead
worried and
explained how she had combed every
part of the country looking for her, her parents too
were worried, s
he added. She would not have done
that if Sola was one of ‘those girls’ but she had never
done that before. You should see me face when I saw
the innumerable messages left by my mum. She had
been sick and she left her matrimonial home that
Sunday after her younger brother backed up her
story. She was so sorry that she would give
everything to have Sola’s life back for her. Too late
mummy! She tex
ted her boss as regards her current
condition and she replied her back within seconds to
be in the hospital shortly. She didn’t know what else
to do so she j
ust left the phone on and slept.
Doctor Charles just exited the adjoining small room
to his office,
sweating and singing when Nurse Adesunloye
entered. She knew it, he had just finished praying. He
had been doing that since the first day he became the
chief medicl direct
or of the hospital. “Good afternoon
Doctor, the patient…” “In ward 10 wants to see me,”
he arranged the scattered booklets on his table and
looked up at the Nurse, “I know, I will see her soon,”
“that was what I told her,” “good, thanks, hope there
is no problem?” “No Doctor, the results of those tests
and x-rays you told us to carry out are out.” She
presented a big brown file to the Doctor and waited
for next instruc
tions. “Oh, thank you Nurse, you are
all wonderful, uh, I’ll g
o through it now,” “alright
Doc,” she stood up and left.
“I heard, your boss came here the other day to check
on you,” Sola answered with a gentle nod. “You must
be a nice person, and hardworking too.” She smiled
feebly in returned. If only he knew how much I’d
wanted to see his face, for one good week, he
deprived me of that. The door was locked from
behind and she w
as sure the Doctor had come to
share with her what other ears must not here – they
would have heard it before. He sat in the rocking
chair by her left and helped her sit up a little before
that. He was facing
her and his eyes, his eyes were
beautiful, like an angel. This guy must be an angel.
Sola didn’t know what happened during the accident
but she felt she must have encountered an angel.
“We carried out some tests on you the day you were
brought in but I am sure you were already conscious
when the X-Rays were taken.” She nodded with a little
bit of coyness when her eyes met those of the
Doctors. “Good, I’ll ask you some questions now and
I’ll be glad if you will be honest with me,” gen-gen,
the popular nollywood sound effect for suspense
went off in Sola’s head. “Do you smoke?” Blood
drained off Sola’s f
ace, she had been so proud of her
habits, she would even gladly confirm them had her
parents questioned her, even the Pastors. But now,
she felt so ashamed, she detested herself right now.
She
wished the ground would open and swallow her up.
Rather than answer, she only burst into tears.

CAGED – LOVE UNLOCKED 3 —

CAGED – LOVE UNLOCKED 3

I didn’t believe that my mum still wouldn’t believe me. I was young then, but now I’m all grown, well, they said I’ve lost my mind. She chuckled when she remembered her mother’s suggestion of going to the church for laying of hands. They are foolish people being deceived by silly monkeys who want to enrich their own pockets. Those ministers would feel something when my parents die, it’d been their money and support all along. They’ve been spending the devil’s money and they never deemed it fit to bring him to his senses? Didn’t they know everything? Well, they were just in a business and they must make profits, to me the man they claimed sent them didn’t exist. That was her last thought, a speedy tomatoes loaded vehicle hit her as she got to the T-Junction where she ought to have turned left and headed home. She never got home. Pedestrians and hawkers around shouted and acted the depth of their feelings by placing their hands on their heads. “Yeepa!” One man shouted, “Ikunle abiyamo,” another woman exclaimed. Some street boys went after the big vehicle on bikes while others tried getting Sola out of her car, it took them longer than normal as the door was locked from inside, they had to use axes and cutlass in separating that part of the vehicle from the others. “Ah! O ti ku o,” (She’s dead) the man who felt her neck for pulse announced. A young onlooker matched in just three long strides to where her still body was layed, he got down on his knees and tried mustering pressure on her chest, he also did the oral respiration in trying to revive her. As he was doing all that, he was muttering words of prayers and his lips quivered as though he had cold. He continued for more than ten minutes, other onlookers took him for a jobless medical school aspirant and rather tried calling anyone from her phone but the phone was locked and there seemed to be no number registered to her emergency line. The young man was still administering pressure on her chest when her chest voluntarily went up in a hard breath and was released shortly afterwards. The young man solicited for the help of others as Sola was rushed to the nearest hospital in her near unconscious state.

She gained her full consciousness after two days of injection of water drips and blood. She woke up to the face of the young doctor who reCaged 3scued her. “Where am I? What am I doing here?,” she weakly demanded. “Thank God you are back to life, you are a miracle,” she looked startled as she realised she was in a hospital with her head bandaged. “What happened?” “You had an accident, the drunk driver with a faulty vehicle that hit you are in the police station as we speak.” “Accident?” She asked in disbelief. “Surely God is great, he must love you so much…you were dead but he brought you back to life,” she stared at the pleasant Doctor with mixed feelings. “I don’t believe in God,” the Doctor hid his shock by smiling at her. “I understand you, maybe you’ll share the story with me someday, we all have reasons not to have that belief but there comes a time that we have to reckon with the fact that God exists and make every other doubt go away…I have to leave you to rest now, I’ll come back and share some things with you, meanwhile, nurses assigned to you shall be coming to check on you from time to time.” He smiled, ‘that smile of an angel, did I just say that? Angel?” So, she drifted off.

Sola did not understand while she did not smile back at the caring Nurses, Nurse Adesunloye was even an exceptional Nurse, Sola was unable to find any fault in her. She brought her food never one minute late, she ran errands and never wore a frown. Sola thought the hospital was not in Nigeria, one, the Nurses were too young and two, their attitude towards her was out of this world. She concluded at the place being a private hospital. Nevertheless, they did not interest her as much as that young Doctor, she had been looking forward to seeing him again since the last time. She felt she was being punished by him not coming around. She had scolded herself to let it be and forget about the Doctor who was young enough to be her younger brother, “wait, am I thinking of dating him? Sola you must be mad.”

CAGED – LOVE UNLOCKED 2 —

CAGED – LOVE UNLOCKED 2

The compound was crowded, big cars and big people, more reason why everyone believes that my parents are blessed. I packed my Lexus beside our last born’s 4×4 Toyota. I entered the house with my heightened mischievous self and rubbed the make-up of pride in my head. The dinning table speaks festivity. Splendid! My mum looked my way with a smile that didn’t last for more than two seconds, she was disappointed, she thought a man would enter the room after me. None did.
Caged 2

We all ate in silence, and towards the end, the icy ice was broken. “Sola, you said you were going to come with your Fiance, what happened? Something came up?” “I said I was going to show you my husband, I never said I would bring him,” my mum waved her fork in the air, “it’s a social media world, you think it’s right to meet your husband on skype?” If she was trying to crack a joke, it worked, everyone at the table laughed. I wiped my mouth with the table napkin and walked to the handwash basin to wash my hands. After making use of the available handkerchief, I strode to the table and hugged my dad from the back. I could feel the shivers that ran down his spine, his heartbeats also increased, for all these years, he still hasn’t fallen out of love with his only daughter. “This is my husband,” I shocked everyone as they were startled by my declaration. “Daddy has been in love with me since I was four years old, he makes love to me anytime he wishes and we could have had 2 children by now but one Doctor Philips terminated their lives before they opened their eyes to see the light of this world.” “You must be out of your mind!” My mum blurted in defense of her husband. “Oh, I want him to deny all these things, and you are defending him? You were never here, and when I tried to tell you, you were not listening. You are responsible for what I am now, because, ever since Dad, I have been unable to love any other man…I hate them!” My mum’s eye travelled from my face and stopped on my dad’s. “She’s nuts, how could I have done all that? You know me better darling,” he answered the mental question and gave me a scowl. “Just what I thought! Sola, you are a disgrace! You are possessed and you need the power of Christ to renew you!” “Don’t even start, did I tell you this yesterday? Never will I tell you tomorrow, dad is a pedophile and he would have done all he did to me to other younger girls, young enough to be my children!” I shouted and stormed out of the room. “This girl does not know anything! I can disown Sola right now! This is a big disgrace to this family.” “Actually, she’s right,” the ever silent Silas, Sola’s younger brother answered, “I told you when we were younger but just like she said, you never listened, I saw Dad do some things to Sister Sola when she was 15, they didn’t know I did, but I told you anyway.”
Their mother rather than angry looked sorrowful and cast their father a killing look. “Can you deny that again?” “The children were right, you were never here.” He answered without a single glint of remorse.

CAGED – LOVE UNLOCKED 1 —

CAGED – LOVE UNLOCKED 1

You see? Everyone sees me as a happy girl, lovely, and beautiful to behold, never withholding a charming smile from anyone who crosses her path. The best time to appreciate her beauty is when she is amidst her family in the public, she blows them kisses and laughs ear to ear at every joke, to everyone around her, she was born for nothing but love. What is love? Nonsense! It doesn’t exist. Give a man money consistently and you will love but stop giving him and you will have no love. Everybody loves for a reason, that is what I have seen in my lifetime so far.

I am not a happy girl, neither am I graceful, loving? Far from it, but to crown a perfect actress of 25 years, that’ll be me, Oscar, AMA, Golden globe, name them all. My life has been nothing but a scripted story written by me and influenced by the people around me.

caged

I have addictions, that is what you will call them, but they are my perfect definition of living, they keep me grounded and help me not to lose my cool. I think straight when I’m in sky 13 after the third round of 10mm wrapped weed. Cocaine is no big deal to me, not taking it is killing somebody and that’ll be nothing but a federal case – Homicide! That’s what they termed it. I smoke, inject drugs and masturbate like crazy. If I don’t do any of them in a day, I’ll end up behind bars, so don’t judge me.

My father is the chief reason I am like this, he started by inserting his middle finger in my vagina when I was four, he was the loving husband who will help his wife around the house, especially with early morning and evening care for the babies. The habit continued and it became something I could not do without, somehow, I don’t know how, but I felt that what he was doing was wrong. He did it where no one else was. Just the two of us. He progressed from fingering to having real sex with me, I lost my mind in the process, innocence left me at such a tender age so I’m not even sure if I haven’t lost myself. He continued till I clocked 16, even after we had been taught about sex, menstruation, ovulation and gestation. I got pregnant and he aborted for me. Two different times. My mum was not aware but she was guilty, she is guilty. I told her whenever she bathed me back then to ‘check me’ like my father always did, she only beat my hands off my vulva while she rushed through with washing the outer part of my life. Career woman! What a huge price to pay for it!

I do not believe in the existence of God, I go to church but if the person being described by our Pastors right from my childhood days really exists, then they are disillusioned. To me, he doesn’t. How can a kind and merciful father be up there and watch my father do all those ignominious things to me? I was a poor child. How can you say he exists while earthquakes rock the earth and swallow many innocent beings leaving many innocent children orphans and wanderers on the surface of earth. How can you say he exists while those Chibok girls were captured and have not been released ever since then, their parents languish in psychological turmoil every single day! For all I can see, the powerful wins, shikena. Life is a game of chances which has no rules but left up to probabilities. The guilty lives in peace while the innocent stays behind bars and awaits death. The rich kills to get himself established while the kind lives in penury. The dishonests rule this world. There are no divine beings! Don’t be tormented, there are no ghosts, no gods, no supernatural beings, just death and devil. I have seen the two before, the latter I have related with, I kiss him daily. I have seen the devil and he is my father!

I have big hatred for men, I don’t want to be touched by girls, I have a perfect dildo to take care of my hunger and thirst for sex. My father is still out there, not yet convicted, he smiles at everyone and they praise him as a good man. You see why I said there is no god? Even the pastors praise him and urge others to be like him – blinded monkeys!

They are worried about me, they want me to bring a man home. A family meeting today, they feel I’m satisfied, the next thing is a Man. So, I’m going for that meeting and I am going to show them my husband, the most intimate man I know – my father. I won’t live in this darkness no more, it is time for everyone to hear my story.

MY MOURNDAYS —

MY MOURNDAYS

So, it is another Monday, my start of Mourn-Days. Is your office not supposed to be a place you joyfully preparesad-black-woman to go to on Mondays? Even if it is only to go and showcase your new shoes, suit or bag? That might be the reason for any other worker but I love my job. I thought I was the luckiest person when I got this job because it was my dream job! I love telecommunication! I love ICT! I spent 8 years in schools studying, preparing. My certificates and previous experiences were the reasons the Human Resource Manager retained me after disclosing my HIV status to him. There was absolutely no Working Place Policy that protected HIV+ workers. Sebi they said Honesty is the Best Policy…so I thought I did the right thing by telling him the truth. I also thought gossip matter na for women but this particular guy told everyone in the office. They all discriminate except for Sisi Aina, she is the reason why I still go to work. Every other person shuns me as if I were an evil communicable disease. The worst is whenever I get the flu, they all wear face masks to talk to me, and some, gloves to get things from me…it is as bad as that.

I did not get HIV because I was a slut. No! I was never slutty and can never be. I made a foolish mistake because I was careless and blinded by “lolf!” We were told to be faithful with our “faithful” partners and most people rule out the use of condoms when it comes to “their faithful partners,” so did I. I mean, Gboyega was so lovely, down-to-earth and a lover of the word. I was not even attracted to him because of his good looks, the other attributes got me. We fell in love and gave in to our burning desires three months into the relationship, se we no try? I normally wouldn’t have done it but I was so in love…I swear Gboyega was the only guy who had seen me naked up till this very moment. Most young people get HIV from the ones they trusted the most. If you are not sure over and over again about his/her status, please, I take my mama head beg you, no do, no do o. Gboyega didn’t know he had it too but he blamed me the moment I told him to go get tested, #shakingmyhead. I wouldn’t have known too, it was my Uncle who acted as my angel. I was feeling ill and I went to the hospital, he was a Medical Doctor, I tested negative to Malaria parasite, immediately, my Uncle demanded I get an HIV test. I went bananas with him, why would he be that pessimistic? “I don’t sleep around!” I barked, “oh, but have you slept before?” He shot back, I dodged the question for five minutes, “have you ever had sex before?” He shouted and it sent fear triggers all over my body. And there was that look, the look that can make the devil repent of his ways. “Once,” I nodded my head in shame. He did not raise a finger of judgement, not even a look of contempt. He filled out a form for me and I took it to the lab. I don’t know why he is always right, he tells patients their problems after listening to them talk about their symptoms. He is really a great and gifted Doctor.

After answering all the questions Gboyega and I should have asked ourselves, the lab attendant pinched my thumb and blood trickled. The blood was spotless, HIV+less, I thought. My mind was not even with the Doctor who asked the Post-Test questions, I guessed; he got my attention after asking me what I would do if I were positive. “God forbid!” I answered, so sure my Uncle was wrong for asking me to take the test. “Miss Temitope Folarin,” the Doctor started as he looked from the A4 Result in his hands into my eyes, “there are lots of support groups in our facility here and no one is alone as living with HIV is not the end of life…” “No!” I let out a sharp cry as I covered my ears to stop myself from hearing the rest of the statement. You know how people begin to cry after the Doctor’s opening speech of, “we tried our best and we are sorry but…” That was the same with me.

It’s been five years and I am okay, no lele but my boss is making my life a living hell by trying to steal my dream away from me. I would have left but I did not want to take that big risk of leaving certainty for uncertainty. They make me suicidal at that office and I so do not feel like going anymore. I have forgiven myself of my past mistake but they keep reminding me of it.

#SayNoToDiscrimination #SayNotoPoorWorkPlacePolicy #SayNotoPremaritalSex
Get Informed. Get Protected.

Dr. Folarin Temitope